In my intoxicated state...

Well currently being a few beers in right now, a couple things run through my mind. 1. Shit i have to wake up kinda early. 2. What an awesome night seeing my best friend. and 3. Why the fuck do i still care about the person who shattered me?

Focusing mostly on the 3rd part for right now, kinda Quentin Tarantino'ing it. Its amazing how you can be shoved into the dirt, dragged around, and left there and still want that person who did it all to you to come back. Why? It seems like it's an easy answer, fuck them! Love is a dangerous thing. 99.9% of the time no matter what in a relationship, someone will get hurt. I guess i should thank my lucky stars cause it hasn't happened but only twice to me. Needless to say it still hurts like murder. And thinking back on it, i feel like I'm being a little pussy. Yes i might be, but fuck i cant control my feelings. It hurts like none other.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason. Maybe I'm dealing with this because I've hurt people? i know i have, and i think its pretty easy to say that being on the opposite end is a lot easier to deal with the situation. Doing the damage is simple, being the one that has to pick up the pieces sucks. I'm sure this is all a lesson that my young grasshopper self will realize later down the road. Come on though, i could use a little help...

So #2. It's quite amazing to me how you can have a best friend for years. Someone who truly knows you inside and out. Be through complete ups and downs and still be there whenever you need them. You can get in horrible fights and not speak for months, and then randomly see each other and it's like it never happened. You can pick up right where you left off and reminisce about the "good ol' days," and still talk about the future. Kind of ironic to the state of our lives right now, i just lost someone and he just found someone. I may be a little jealous, but i can honestly say i couldn't be happier for him!

Finally, #1. Kinda clique I'm ending it like this. You know when you watch a movie, and the build up has slowly been getting better and better, and you're ready to for it to end in this amazing mind blowing way? well this wont. Sorry i have to get up and do some filming tomorrow for a project so I'm off to bed.

Nighty night, and sweet dreams. May tomorrow be an even better day that today!